Confessions from a First Time Mother

• I still cringe when I hear someone say, “preggers” or “preggo”.

• Before August 29, 2009, I probably changed three diapers total in my lifetime.

• Olivia’s name was supposed to be Morgan. But once we confirmed the boy/girl status, we decided Morgan and Ethan sounded like two boys’ names.

• I have turned off the monitor.

• The babies never slept in a bassinet in our room.

• I upgraded to the “good” TV channels while I was in the hospital after the kids were born.

• I opted for a caesarian section and would do it again in a heartbeat. Pretty sure they don’t give out medals for awesomeness in the delivery room.

• Yes, I realize my previous comment makes me an awful mother in some people’s eyes. They must have received their medals in the mail.

• I forget to trim my kids’ nails.

• I have Googled things like, “how to swaddle”, “how to sanitize bottles”, “what causes diaper rash?”.

• I cannot stand it when other moms compare their kid’s weights to my kids. And we wonder why so many kids have self-esteem issues.

• I am adamantly against the whole “twin matchy-matchy” crap.

• I often wonder what having just one baby would be like. Then again, I couldn’t imagine not having either of the babies.

• I have paid other people to take my kids’ pictures.

• I use generic-brand formula. Enfamil sucked us in for the first five months though.

• I have walked away.

• I tried to braid Olivia’s hair once.

• I once tried to soothe Ethan for two hours one of the first nights we were home. E came in and gave him a binkie and Ethan fell asleep immediately.

• Speaking of which, the first three months of the babies’ lives are a huge blur to me now.

• I don’t turn down help and ask for it often.

• I haven’t gone to a movie theater since the Fourth of July…last year.

• I avoid trips to the store with the babies.

• We have become that family that leaves a restaurant and the floor is covered in Cheerios and baby cookies.

• I still want a cigarette. Every.day.

• The time put into picking out baby bedding is useless. Go have an ice cream cone instead. By the time the baby is 9 months old, all that will be left is a fitted sheet because you’ve had to hide everything else.

• I have asked for advice on Facebook.

• I have left the house with the kids and no diapers.

Edited to add the biggest one of all:

* I wake sleeping babies.

I wrote this today as a dedication to all the new moms or expectant moms out there. It’s ok to not have all the answers.

6 Months (ish)

As it turns out, Olivia and Ethan will only get to celebrate half birthdays every four years on leap day. I am not going to let that stop me from babbling on about our babies. No way!

Olivia

Our first born. Weighed a half a pound less than her brother at birth. Didn’t cry when she was born. Surprised me and most of my side of the family, with her light-colored hair and beautiful blue/green/gray eyes. Has the pinchiest cheeks ever. Has a temper. Loves Kori, our cat. Has always been a very good burper. Not a fan of carrots. Loves car rides, but gets upset if you go under 50 mph. Her middle name, Langley, is also my middle name after my fraternal grandmother’s maiden name. Loves her Daddy’s funny sounds. Never really took to a binkie. Rarely fights a nap or bedtime. Much rather sleep in her crib than cuddle with someone. Loves to watch Dora and Cash Cab. Doesn’t find the humor in many things like her brother does. Wants whatever toy Ethan has. Looks pretty darn cute in the color pink. Is really starting to form her own personality lately and we have a feeling she will be a handful.

Ethan

Younger than his sister by a minute. Was very angry when he was born. Has a slight ginger-tint to his hair making him look like his Daddy. Has these amazing brown puppy dog eyes, which will probably get him far in life. Loves his binkie and can almost get it in his mouth and actually let go of it. His first smile was at a 4:00 AM feeding when he was 6 weeks old. Is definitely the sensi of our family. His middle name, Roger, was the name of Eric’s grandfather. Is super ticklish under his armpits. He is nicknamed, “Mr. Half Hour” because his naps rarely go over thirty minutes. Will cry if Olivia is crying. Loves to snuggle. Lets Olivia play with all their toys first and then, he will start to play with them. Loves to jump! Is an early riser. He is perfectly content lying on the floor on his back, kicking his legs. Rubs his eyes when he is tired. Loves to talk to his sister during playtime and make her smile.

And finally, we will leave you with a tender moment.  Ethan trying to make Olivia laugh, unsuccessfully.  She's one tough cookie!

Here's to another amazing 6 months!

Ethan's Hobby

Alright, we may not send him out in the wildnerness... But if we did, he'd totally be the cutest kid out there. Binkie and all.

Ambien for Babies?

Usually, we are pretty lucky with the sleeping thing. On a normal basis, Olivia and Ethan sleep soundly for 10-12 hours a night, waking up to eat between 6:00 AM and 7:00 AM to eat. However, every few days or so, Ethan decides to have a party on his own in his crib. Our night last night went as follows:

1:42 AM- Ethan woke up yearning for his binkie. I woke up, found Ethan smiling and replaced it and fell back asleep.

2:30 AM- Ethan decided he wanted to host his own talk show. E woke up, replaced the binkie and returned to bed.

3:00 AM- Again, I woke up to Ethan whining. Not crying, just whining. Replaced that damn bink and crawled back in bed.

3:30 AM- Ethan was whining again and E replaced the foul bink… Ethan was up moments again.

3:45 AM- This time, E and I were both up. Tried to ignore the incessant whining.

4:00 AM- Decided to just feed them so Ethan would sleep until it was time to go his grandma’s. Both kids were fed and put back to bed.

4:45 AM- I got out of the shower and Ethan was crying like someone was holding that damn pacifier for ransom. Replaced it and he slept peacefully until 6:45 AM when it was time.

My question, Dear Internets, is WHY? Is there a trick we’re missing? How the hell does Olivia sleep soundly and Ethan does not?