Thursday, July 23, 2009


Last time we “spoke”, I was the Non-Smoker, who was actually losing the battle with smoking.

I digress.

Enjoy the following timeline… I may speak in fragments… You’ll get over it.

December 26, 20083 weeks 5 days- While E and I were “Day after Christmas Shopping”; I realized that with all the hoopla of Christmas, I hadn’t noticed that I did not get my period. We decide to test and make the stop at Target. Nothing like checking out with a new iPod, triple pack of pregnancy tests and a case of Diet Coke. I tested at home and waited for E to check the results. He checked the test and the look on his face could have gone either way. Ultimately, E turned it around and I saw those two lines and gasped. I remember thinking how funny it was that Jaws 2 was playing in the background. Being the internet goober that I tend to be (because you know, the internet is ALWAYS right) and figured out at that my EDD (estimated due date) would be September 6, 2009. E doubted the prediction… Just putting that out there.

December 29, 2008- 4 weeks 1 day- Took another pregnancy test because I could not believe it. Yup- still pregnant.

The next month is what I call “The Sleep Coma” because that is all I did.

January 27, 2009- 8 weeks 2 days- First OB appointment with Dr. R. After a quick inspection of my undercarriage, he verified that I was, indeed, with child. EDD is September 6, 2009. (So the internet didn’t lie!) We were expecting the obligatory ultrasound, but the nurse talked us out of it because our insurance probably wouldn’t cover it. Besides, Dr R. would have said something if he expected twins. Well, we’re just full of surprises and general overachievers. More on that later.

The next month could only be described as Hazing for some cruel initiation. Morning sickness, afternoon sickness, food aversions, constipation, crying. I won’t even apologize for the TMI. It sucked.

February 24, 2009- 12 weeks 2 days- Heard the heart beat for the first time. Good, strong 160 bpm. I asked Dr. R., “just one heartbeat?” He replied with, “Yes, just one heart beat. I think it’s a girl.” Blood test indicated that I was slightly anemic and needed to start iron supplements on top of the prenatal vitamins. Blood pressure was a bit high, so the doctor sent me to a nephrologist who put me on a 24-hour blood pressure monitoring system. Turns out, I just get nervous around doctors, otherwise known as “White Coat Syndrome”.

The next month could be called, “I am OK. Where is the Panera Broccoli Cheddar soup?” because that is all I ate.

March 15, 2009- 15 weeks- I turned 30.

March 24, 2009
- 16 weeks 2 days- Third OB appointment, where we heard the single heartbeat again, still at 160 bpm. I was offered the Quad Screening Test since I was (gasp) over 30 and this was my first pregnancy. Since we hadn’t had any ultrasounds up until then and E and I are huge worriers- we decided to go ahead and have it done anyway. We went in fully aware that there was high false positive rate.

March 26, 2009- 16 weeks 4 days- Results from Quad Screen was in and I had an abnormal result and a 1 in 216 chance that the baby had Down Syndrome. Had emergency ultrasound scheduled for the next morning. This was probably the worst day of my life that included 18 hours of not knowing what was wrong with our child. Spent some time at our friends’ house and tried to stay off the internet, especially WebMD. I managed to get a few hours of sleep after reading that only 1 in 50 women with abnormal Quad results actually have something wrong with the baby.

March 27, 2009- 16 weeks 5 days- Entered ultrasound room with E barely able to breathe. The technician started her spiel, lubed up my tummers and put the Doppler/Probe jobber over my uterus. The next few minutes will forever live on in my head.

Technician: Looks at her screen. “Oop, that’s why it’s abnormal.”
Me: Looks at the screen and sees 2 round objects. Places hand over mouth and says, “Oh my God, there are two!”
Technician: “Yup. Twins. Congratulations.” (she had the personality of a wet dish rag.)
E: “Are you serious?”
Technician: “Yup”
E: “I have to sit down.”
Me: “Are they ok?”
Technician: “Looks like it, I will be right back.”

Yada, yada. Babies looked like they were in good shape. Still pretty early to know the genders for sure, but Twin A looked like a girl and they were fairly positive that Twin B was a boy. They will be more certain at anatomy ultrasound at 19 weeks. The babies are fraternal despite the genders as they had two separate sacs and placentas. Within 15 minutes, we thought we were about to prepare for a special needs baby to finding out we were actually expecting two healthy babies. Went from the worst day ever to the best. For the first time in my life, I actually felt blessed. Dr. Awesome (specialty doctor) came in and gave us a run down of what to do while expecting twins. Stopped in to harass/see Dr. R and was told to expect early bed rest (around 26 weeks) and a caesarean section.

The next month is what I like to call “The Shock and Awe” month. Obviously.

April 7, 2009- 18 weeks 2 days- I now see my OB every 2 weeks, as I am now considered a high risk pregnancy. Also, since I was now carrying twins and my father is a diabetic, I was at a higher risk for gestational diabetes (GD). Dr. R sent me for the 1 hour glucose test.

April 17, 2009- 19 weeks 5 days- Felt them move for the first time on our way to the hospital. The song playing was Thriller by Michael Jackson. Second ultrasound. Definitely a boy. Definitely a girl. Everything looked “perfect” according to Dr. Awesome. We were finally able to refer to them as Ethan and Olivia.

April 22, 2009- 20 weeks 3 days- OB Appointment. Failed 1 Hour Glucose test, badly. Need to take 3 Hour Glucose Test.

April 28, 2009- 20 weeks 5 days- Took 3 Hour Glucose Test. Then ate like a chubby king over the weekend, as I thought the days of eating whatever I wanted were over.

April 28, 2009- 21 weeks 2 days- Glucose fail according to Dr. R. Made appointment to see another specialist.

April 30, 2009- 21 weeks 4 days- Met with GD specialist, Dr. LackofPersonality. After they lost my final number, was told I did not have GD and be on my merry way. However, I would need to test again when I was closer to my third trimester. I’ll take that.

May 5, 2009- 22 weeks 2 days- OB appointment # 731… Doing OK.

May 9, 2009- 22 weeks 6 days- Shot my first wedding as a photographer. Finally understood the whole swollen feet thing. Not something I recommend doing when five and a half months pregnant with twins.

Somewhere in between here, I felt them move from the outside. Only slightly disturbing. Also, pregnancy induced carpal tunnel showed up. Not great for a person that spends a majority of her day on the computer and spends the weekend with a camera pointed at people.

May 15, 2009- 23 weeks 5 days- Ultrasound # 3. Olivia was breech, Ethan was head down.

May 19, 2009- 24 weeks 2 days- OB appoint #1005. Waited for 2 hours for a 5 minute appointment. Yup. Still in there.

May 28, 2009- 25 weeks 4 days- 3 Hour Glucose Test # 2.

June 2, 2009- 26 weeks 2 days- OB appointment # 7529. Glucose PASS. Suck it GD believers. No bed rest needed. Found out what “internal check” meant.

June 12, 2009- 27 Weeks 5 days- Ultrasound # 4. Olivia still breech, Ethan, still ready to go. Dr. Awesome was slightly concerned that Ethan was a bit larger than Olivia. We’ll check up on them in 3 weeks.

June 16, 2009- 28 weeks 2 days- OB appointment # 80,107. RhoGam shot injected. No bed rest needed.

Somewhere in between here, E took away my driving privileges as I no longer could reach the pedals. I am now Miss Daisy. E is my Hoke.

July 2, 2009- 30 weeks 4 days- Ultrasound # 5. Olivia caught up somewhat to her brother. She is now head down as well. Ethan goes all ninja with his legs over his head. Dr. Awesome on vacay, Dr. LackofPersonality barely came into the room to chat.

July 2, 2009- 30 weeks 4 Days- OB appointment # 90, 444. If my OB wasn’t such a huggable guy, I would have punched him by now. He insists on letting them stay in there for as long as they want. He doesn’t like the idea of an eviction notice. ::Sigh:: Whatever is best for them I suppose…. No flames, you know I am only semi-serious. Speaking of flames, found out I am totally allowed to have a c-section if I want one. Sign me up. Still no bed rest, I am awesome.

July 17, 2009- 32 weeks, 5 days- OB appointment # zillionty. Reminded that my body thinks it is at 40 weeks because of the size of the babies. Dr. R’s game plan: “36 weeks is good, everything else is a bonus. If they are not here by 39 weeks, I will go in and get them.” Goody. The thought of a possible 6 more weeks of feeling like this reminds me of stupid rainbows and puppy dogs. No bed rest because Dr. R can sometimes be Satan.

July 22, 2009- 33 weeks 3 days- Ultrasound # 6. My kids weigh a collective 9 pounds 2 ounces with putting on a grand total of 2 lbs 5 ounces in the last three weeks. Apparently, E and I make some totally kick ass kids. Dr. Awesome predicts they will be here within the next 2 weeks. I like him. Best thing yet, Olivia has a confirmed full head of hair, which pleases her dad.

July 22, 2009- 33 weeks 3 days- Started new blog…. Crazy to think we will have our own Insta-Entourage in a few weeks. Wonder if Jeremy Piven will be included.


  1. I can't believe E&O will be here so soon! You're doing such a great job and I love this statement:
    Went from the worst day ever to the best. For the first time in my life, I actually felt blessed.

  2. This post was so hilarious, so touching and so exciting all at the same time. Can't wait to REED more!

  3. Can't wait for this journey to continue with outside babies!

  4. Welcome back, Oh how I have missed thee!