Confessions from a First Time Mother

• I still cringe when I hear someone say, “preggers” or “preggo”.

• Before August 29, 2009, I probably changed three diapers total in my lifetime.

• Olivia’s name was supposed to be Morgan. But once we confirmed the boy/girl status, we decided Morgan and Ethan sounded like two boys’ names.

• I have turned off the monitor.

• The babies never slept in a bassinet in our room.

• I upgraded to the “good” TV channels while I was in the hospital after the kids were born.

• I opted for a caesarian section and would do it again in a heartbeat. Pretty sure they don’t give out medals for awesomeness in the delivery room.

• Yes, I realize my previous comment makes me an awful mother in some people’s eyes. They must have received their medals in the mail.

• I forget to trim my kids’ nails.

• I have Googled things like, “how to swaddle”, “how to sanitize bottles”, “what causes diaper rash?”.

• I cannot stand it when other moms compare their kid’s weights to my kids. And we wonder why so many kids have self-esteem issues.

• I am adamantly against the whole “twin matchy-matchy” crap.

• I often wonder what having just one baby would be like. Then again, I couldn’t imagine not having either of the babies.

• I have paid other people to take my kids’ pictures.

• I use generic-brand formula. Enfamil sucked us in for the first five months though.

• I have walked away.

• I tried to braid Olivia’s hair once.

• I once tried to soothe Ethan for two hours one of the first nights we were home. E came in and gave him a binkie and Ethan fell asleep immediately.

• Speaking of which, the first three months of the babies’ lives are a huge blur to me now.

• I don’t turn down help and ask for it often.

• I haven’t gone to a movie theater since the Fourth of July…last year.

• I avoid trips to the store with the babies.

• We have become that family that leaves a restaurant and the floor is covered in Cheerios and baby cookies.

• I still want a cigarette. Every.day.

• The time put into picking out baby bedding is useless. Go have an ice cream cone instead. By the time the baby is 9 months old, all that will be left is a fitted sheet because you’ve had to hide everything else.

• I have asked for advice on Facebook.

• I have left the house with the kids and no diapers.

Edited to add the biggest one of all:

* I wake sleeping babies.

I wrote this today as a dedication to all the new moms or expectant moms out there. It’s ok to not have all the answers.